


21

by lilyrosemustdie



Category: Green Day
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:10:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6157672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyrosemustdie/pseuds/lilyrosemustdie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buchelle Psychiatric Help is the home to two boys who helplessly fall for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Crazy.

Quite possibly the only word that Billie Joe has had in his brain since he got here. Buchelle Physciatric Help, as it's more formally known. The five letters swarm every thought he ever has, resulting in a huge decrease in self-confidence and a huge increase in anxiety. Not to mention he stutters when he's even the slightest bit anxious or nervous (which was practically all the time).The only thing that really keeps him sane is the cute boy in the room two doors down.

He doesn't really know how just one glance at the boy could leave such an impact. The first time he saw the blonde hair in the corner of his eye he knew he had to get close to him. Social anxiety, though, is a huge boulder in the middle of the road. Billie doesn't know how many times he's tortured his therapist about the mystery person who doesn't even know he exists.

"Trust me, he knows who you are." Mrs. Adrie said, smiling softly at Billie. Billie looked solemnly back up to his therapist, shaking his head. He picked the stitching at the bottom of his black button up, his dirty black jeans poking out from underneath them.

"H-has he s-said anything abo-out me?"

"Billie, you know that information is classified, but since I like you, I'll let you in on a secret," Billie leaned in close, "he's mentioned you once or twice."

She winked, and Billie leaned back in his chair. It was hard for him to believe, because no one likes him, and the thought of someone wasting the breath to talk about him was just insane in his mind. Why not talk about music or something worthwhile? Why spend your time focusing on a lame boy who can't talk to other humans? Billie almost believed her, almost. She was probably only saying these things because she felt bad for Billie, pining after a boy who hasn't even breathed in his direction before.

Mrs. Adrie could always tell when Billie started to think badly about himself, and she breathed in deeply, "Billie, I know it's hard for you to believe, but he has talked about you. You know that I've never lied to you before."

"I-I know. I'm not w-worthy of h-his breath, th-though."

Mrs. Adrie felt her heart drop at Billie's sentence, along with the accompanying broken-eyed look. She had seen it many times before, but never in this context, and that made her hurt even more.

"If he's worthy of yours, your worthy of his, Billie." She said softly. Billie remained unconvinced, chewing on his fingernail and staring at the corner of her office. There was a brief silence before Mrs. Adrie glanced at the clock, noticing their appointment was over, and sent Billie on his way.

\--

Mike Dirnt was not crazy. He wasn't. He honestly had no reason to be in this god-forsaken insane asylum. He wasn't crazy, he was sure of it. Yeah, he had scars littered on his body and yeah, one time he tried to overdose on pills, but he wasn't crazy.

He was just sad.

His parents refused to believe him. Once they found him passed out on the bathroom tiles, empty pill bottle in hand, they took him straight here (after the hospital, obviously). When he woke up after an intense stomach pump, he tried to convince his parents that he would be fine, that he learned his lesson. But they were parents, and they didn't listen, so they packed his bags and entered him into this place.

For a while, Mike was even sadder than he was originally. He tried to kill himself and then gets abandoned by his family in a fucking psychiatric ward? How was that supposed to help him in any way? That was, or course, his mindset until he saw him, that boy with the fluffy black hair.

The fluffy-haired boy was shorter than Mike (from what he could tell, at least). Mike had only seen glimpses of him as he ran around corners and through the lunch room. He longed to just hold conversation with the boy, but with depression weighing down his shoulders, it was considerably easier said than done.

Mike had no friends at Buchelle. He's talked to other kids here, but they never kept conversation, and it was usually a quick 'how are you?' in the hall. As hard as Mike longed to talk to the fluffy-haired boy, he never worked up the guts to actually speak to him. He's drawn countless pictures of the boy's silhouette, or the way his hair stuck up, or the back of his head. He's never been able to actually get a good look at the boy's face, and that made him quite upset.

He's shown his pictures to Ms. Adrie and she loved them, even keeping one to hang on her wall (when Billie noticed it, she declined that it was him). She can see the lust that the boys have for one another, and she'll be damned if they never talk. She's even considered making them both come in to her office and force them to interact, but she wants it to happen naturally.

Obviously, that wasn't happening.

Mrs. Adrie was undoubtedly beginning to 'ship' the two boys, hoping that whenever Billie would leave her office he would accidentally run into Mike, or that they'll bump into each other turning the corner, or sit in the same area in the library. Billie spent most of his time in the library anyways, so Mrs. Adrie always pushed Mike to go in there too.

"You'll love it. There's reading, video games, comp-"

"They're all monitored."

"...True. But, the only reason for that is because we have some kids here who are easily triggered by things in games such as Call of Duty or Halo. Books, however, are endless. You read the story-line, but picture everything else in your own mind. You get to create your own world inside your brain just from reading words."

Mike didn't reply, only sighed and looked down at the floor. His thoughts swarmed rather towards the boy with the fluffy hair, but he didn't tell Mrs. Adrie that. He's complained to her enough about him. 

He volunteered instead to go back to his room and draw. Mrs. Adrie trusts him enough to let him have a mechanical pencil in his room, which was a huge leap from how much she used to trust him. When Mike first arrived, he had to have guards watch him while he fucking ate because she felt that he would try to hurt himself with a fucking fork.

So, Mike drew. He drew and drew until his hand cramped, but even then, he drew. He drew the small hairs that flew opposite the rest on the boy's head, his small frame and adorable posture, the creases in his shirt because it was just a bit too big. It almost shocked Mike how much he had noticed about the boy when he hasn't even seen his face yet. Mike was hopelessly yearning for him.

Once the sun had set and Mike had filled another entire page of his sketchbook, he decided to try and get some rest. He almost laughed at the thought. Mike Dirnt? Getting sleep? It was almost as impossible as being attacked by a shark and getting struck by lightning (at the same time).

\--

"Billie, someone's here to visit you." Nurse Dean (Billie's favorite nurse) informed him before leaving his room. Billie sighed. It was probably just his parents coming to check on him for, like, the fourth time this month. Even so, Billie got up, got into his usual attire (black shoes, black socks, black skinny jeans, black button-up) and left his room, making sure to close the door behind him.

Nurse Dean was Billie's favorite nurse in all of Buchelle. The first day he was entered here, Dean was wearing a Zeppelin shirt and snogging some black-haired dude with an AC/DC shirt on (Billie later found out that black-haired dude was Nurse Cas). If that doesn't automatically equal awesome, what does?

Billie hesitantly stepped into the office, hoping that he wouldn't have to make conversation with the receptionist because oh god anxiety. Fortunately, all she did was show him to the visiting room and shut the door.

"Oh, Billie, look how much you've grown!" Billie's mom said immediately, jumping up and pulling the boy into her chest. He tentatively wrapped his arms around his mother, pulling back after a few seconds, muttering how she saw him, like, two weeks ago.

"How have you been?" She said, sitting back down, staring straight at Billie.

"Good, mom."

"Ah, that's amazing to hear! Are you improving? Getting worse? What's the scoop?"

"I don't know, ma. They don't just tell me those things."

"That's okay, I'll have a word with your therapist. Mrs. Addy, was it?"

"Adrie."

"Oh, yes, sorry. Also, your father's on a business trip, so he couldn't make it. He'll be here next time, though."

After about an hour of meaningless conversation, the receptionist popped her head back in and said that visiting hours were over. Billie silently thanked her, hugged his mom for about a minute, and then was escorted back to his room.

His mind was clear, nothing breaking through his walls, everything in order. Well, that was until he saw that blonde hair walking into Mrs. Adrie's room. Every thought, doubt, idea he ever had flooded into a giant puddle at the bottom of his skull, his throat and eyes being walls holding back all of it. What used to take up the space of his brain was now preoccupied by the blonde haired boy, every single time he's ever seen him ever was focusing into Billie's consciousness, taking up his mind.

Oh boy, Billie was falling hard.

\--

Needless to say, Mike was falling just as hard for the fluffy haired boy. He saw the back of his head as he walked into Mrs. Adrie's room, hoping desperately to run into him on the way out. As he sat down in the plush chair opposite his therapist, he could tell that she knew.

"It's him again, isn't it, Mike?"

No sound was uttered, only a small and disappointed nod of the head. She felt immensely sad for the both of them, understanding their lust for each other, being able to talk to both of them and see the same emotion in their eyes.

No matter how much she yearned for the boys to meet, she knew she couldn't force it on them. However, she could gently enforce them meeting. After Mike left from their appointment, she began to think. Billie was 99% likely in the library, so if she told Mike that he had to go to the library, hopefully they would finally react.

She nearly ran out of her office and towards Mike's room, knocking twice before letting herself in, her heart breaking at seeing the half-drawing of Billie on Mike's sketchpad.

"Mike, I need you to go fetch me a book in the library. I'm stocked on paperwork due tonight and would really appreciate it. It's called Everyday, it should be in the fiction section."

As Mike nodded and flipped his sketchbook closed, she nearly fan-girled. She was finally getting the boys to interact (hopefully). She waltzed back to her office, shutting the door and letting magic happen.

Mike, however, was a bit mad at Mrs. Adrie. He was in the middle of a sketch, and now he'll never be able to pick up where he left off. His brain doesn't work like that. He has to start and finish a drawing the same time period for it to finish. As he reached the library, though, the anger had worn off and he was focused on finding the book.

He stopped at the fiction section, starting with A's and lowering his eyes until he found the titles with E's. He read over each title, but couldn't find Everyday. Maybe it wasn't even a real book. Maybe Mrs. Adrie felt bad for him and made him go on an involuntary walk around the campus. He nearly gave up hope when he finally found it, seeing as it was on the shelf below.

And that's when Billie ran into him.


	2. Chapter 2

Billie was known to walk around the library as he read. He got restless sitting in one spot while focusing on a book, so he opted instead walking paths around the room. The librarian/nurse was used to this, and made sure nothing was ever in his path. No one else ever came into the room. Billie had the library memorized like it was the back of his hand, so he didn't even need to look up to turn corners or maneuver around bookshelves. 

Since this was undoubtedly the first time Mike was ever in the library for more than a span of three seconds, he was unaware of Billie's habits. Thus, he chose to stand in the middle of the aisle while looking for Mrs. Adrie's book. This was, of course, unbeknownst to Billie, as he finished one page and turned his eyes to the next, he ran into a hard post made of flesh, lifting his head and oh my god it's the blonde boy. 

They locked eyes, and Billie was appalled. After never seeing the boy's face, let alone this close, Billie had never been able to drown in his beauty. His bright blue eyes pierced into Billie's green ones, opening Billie up and reading him like a book. The small smile that tracked it's way onto Billie's face was inevitable. 

"Hi." The boy said with a smile, leaving Billie to let out a small sigh of relief. He was still at a loss for words, opening and closing his mouth in hopes that something to say would fall out. Of course, nothing did fall out, and Billie was left with a blush and an awkward silence.

"I'm Mike."

So the mysterious blonde boy had a name, finally. After weeks and weeks of secretly lusting after him, the boy actually took the time of day to introduce himself to Billie. His heart was about to implode from the sudden emotions. 

"I-I-I'm B-B-B-Billie. S-sorry for r-ru-running into y-y-you." He blushed from his major stuttering, and his smile fell, expecting Mike to laugh at his stutter just like everyone else had. Unbeknownst to Billie, Mike found it adorable. 

"Nice to meet you, Billie." He smiled again. Billie could watch him smile all day. It was like a sunshine that lit up the room, a nice warmth that Billie began to fall even harder for. 

The two sat there, analyzing the other's face, trying to memorize every detail. After longing for each other for so long, neither of them were willing to let this moment go by so quickly. Almost as suddenly as Billie ran into him, Mike's brain started spinning. He didn't want this moment to end. As much as he wished for it to go away, his brain was too powerful. 

why are you staring at him? he probably thinks you're a creep. diediediediedie he doesn't care about you the same way you care about him just get over yourself you're not all that you think you are and if he liked you back he would have said something by now and now he probably thinks you're stupid and can't talk diediediedie wouldn't it be nice to just to go back to your room and rip apart your body again? feel the blood ooze out and the pills flip in your stomach until-

Mike's mind was caving in. All his pent up thoughts and emotions had always been replaced by the fluffy haired boy (who he now had a name for). Once he met eyes with him, however, all barriers blocking his thoughts collapsed. The thoughts flooded his brain like a river, and poor Mike couldn't handle it. He started shaking, all confidence in him suddenly draining, looking down at his shoes in dismay and rubbing his hands all over his face in an attempt to calm down.

"I-I'm sorry, Billie, I can't- I can't do this, you don't want- you don't want me here, I'm so-sorry,"

Mike rambled self-deprecatingly, tears even coming to his face. If he was alone right now, he would have resorted to either a sharp object or a belt by now. He needed a release, a reality check. And Billie, using every last inch of confidence he could muster, let his hand fall onto Mike's shoulder. Immediately, Mike grabbed Billie's shaking hand, pressing it close to his chest, relishing in the warmth it brought to his cold torso. Billie was in heaven from holding Mike's hand and Mike was using him to pull himself out of his own hell. Mike intertwined their fingers, squeezing Billie's hand desperately, feeling his thoughts flood away until he could finally have control over his thoughts again. 

When his brain was back in control, he nearly let go of Billie's hand. He lifted his head, tear marks down his face, desperation and vulnerability written on his features. Billie stared sympathetically into his eyes, squeezing Mike's hand reassuringly. Letting go of his hand would be the worst decision he ever made. 

So he didn't. Breathing heavily, he kept his fingers intertwined with Billie's. By the small smile on Billie's face, he knew he made the right decision. 

"Sorry. Needed something to bring me back."

And Billie knew exactly what he meant. 

\--

"I t-touched h-h-his shoulder, I-I h-held his fu-fucking hand, I don-'t know wh-what I did, Mrs. Adrie, he ju-ust looked s-so s-sad, I-"

"Billie, take a deep breath, calm down." Mrs. Adrie attempted to sooth the boy. After just meeting his secret admirer, no wonder Billie was nervous to the point of stuttering on every word. It's normal for her to get a stutter or two per sentence, but with the vigorous shaking of the poor boy's hands, she wasn't shocked by the generous amount of pausing. 

He paused, taking in a deep breath, and letting it out with a small shake of his hair. 

"I j-just, I ca-can't believe I w-would do that. I n-never do th-that."

Deep down, Mrs. Adrie was appalled. After being with Billie for so long, hearing his thoughts and fears, it was a god damn miracle that he had the guts to comfort Mike. Even Billie himself was shocked. Mrs. Adrie had to make sure that nothing separated the two. Just seeing Mike hurt was enough to make Billie do something he's never thought of doing? It's historic. Amazing. Beautiful. She nearly got choked up, after trying her hardest to try to understand Billie, when all along he needed Mike to be his savior. It was even slightly unfair, Billie's parent are spending all this money to try to get a professional psychiatrist, when the only thing that really counts is the blonde boy two doors down.

"Billie, it's okay. This is natural. It happens to everyone."

Mrs. Adrie needed to go into depth about what he's feeling, but she couldn't. He was close to having a damn panic attack, she needed to calm him down and speak to him in short sentences. She knew it was essentially 'match-make' the boys together, but if someone didn't 

"But w-why? W-why M-mike?" He was near tears, shaking in his chair. He was clutching and un-clutching his shirt, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down, but it wasn't working. Billie's mind kept going over and over on how stupid he was, how much Mike must have hated him now because of what he did, how he knew Mike only held his hand out of pity, how Mike must be freaked out by him now, and Mike.

And, as if Mike had heard Billie's mind blowing up, he walked in the room.

Mrs. Adrie nearly cooed at the sight, because Mike and Billie locked eyes, and Billie almost instantly calmed down. Mike sent a small smile to Billie, a silent hello. As Mike turned and walked to Mrs. Adrie's desk, Billie kept his eyes on him, even if it was his back. She could physically see the relief pouring out of Billie the second Mike walked in the room. It was almost like a fairy tale.

"I got your book, Mrs. Adrie." 

"Thank you, Mike."

As Mike turned around to leave, he shot a quick wink to Billie, causing the fluffy-haired boy to grin back, blushing slightly. Mrs. Adrie looked upon the scene with delight. Finally, they were interacting. 

As Mike closed the door, Billie shot one glance behind him to see that blonde hair walking away, and that's when Mrs. Adrie knew that he was hopelessly fallen.


End file.
